Overthinking After Sending Messages: Breaking Rumination

Event: After posting an opinion at the end of a group discussion, I started obsessing over my expression.

Re-reading my words, I felt a “superior” tone, and I interpreted my colleagues’ lack of response as indifference and rejection. This reflects my underlying pattern: extreme caution in speech, fearing criticism.

Behavioral Experiment: Gather Evidence, Break Guessing

Do not get trapped in speculation. Action is the most powerful weapon against rumination:

• Action: “Nudge” the group in a different way. For example, ask actively participating colleagues: “Regarding this idea, where do you think is the best place to start testing the waters?”
• Purpose: This is a scientific test. If you get a response, the catastrophic guess is falsified; if it remains silent, you gain real feedback, not imagined fear.

Intention-Effect Separation Framework

Before expressing, spend 30 seconds clarifying your core intention. After expressing, only review whether the core intention was achieved, rather than obsessing over details like posture or tone.

“My intention of support has been conveyed through text. That is all I can control. Receiving and interpreting is others’ business.”